A tribute to Julia

Emeline, 47 years old, mother of 5 children and owner of aupair agency Huisje Boompje Nanny, tells us her special and moving story about her motherhood: About anti-curling, unconditional love, but also about losing a child and what that does to your relationship.

"I didn't know I could feel and give so much love. And especially that it makes me so happy. Motherhood has brought me unconditional love, very cliché but true. So special to experience this whole development and to have a share in it. That you feel so much love for these tiny human beings, and will do everything to protect them. And then suddenly, you are completely unexpectedly confronted with death."

On May 3, 2007, the world of Emeline and Arnaud suddenly came to a standstill and everything changed forever. “My life was always very positive, optimistic and carefree. Until the day Julia passed away. That wiped out all confidence in life in one go. ” After a problem-free pregnancy of 9 months and 3 days, there was suddenly no heartbeat. Inexplicably, their daughter Julia's heart had stopped beating.

“We were expecting a new life: A sister for Massimo, just moved to a new house, pink walls in a baby room. And then after more than nine months you have a beautiful perfect full-term baby in your arms, but she is no longer alive.

"There is a time before and after Julia. I carry the loss with me forever and it still hurts, but fortunately, I have found myself again and am positive and optimistic about life as before. Although with some cracks and a slightly thicker skin."

By talking a lot about their little daughter and not hiding the sorrow of her loss, Emeline and Arnaud managed to stay strong together. But that wasn't always easy. "As a man and a woman, you go through that process differently. The hardest part is that both of you are grieving and can't support each other, making it very lonely. I always mentioned her when someone asked how many children I have. Even though that's sometimes difficult or uncomfortable for others. My husband couldn't do that, but it was important for me. By accepting that one goes through a different process than the other, we didn't lose each other."

Emeline had a total of 5 full pregnancies, and with all of them, she was nauseous almost the entire time. "With Massimo, I went crazy. I thought I would never do this again. I had enormous cravings for apples. The only thing that helped against my nausea. And LU crackers all day long. With Julia, the nausea was even worse and lasted the entire pregnancy. Apples turned into apple fritters and anything that came out of the fryer. I thought this pregnancy was worse because it was a girl, but the following ones were just as bad. I really wondered why I kept doing it when you know you'll feel so sick for so long. But that's what motherhood is all about."

With a large boys' family and her own business, it's sometimes challenging to find time for herself. "There are always laundry and groceries to do, but I know I'm a better mother when I have a little time and relaxation for myself. Half an hour of horseback riding, surfing in the summer, painting, kickboxing, or just a beach walk can work wonders."

"I am proud of us and that we have been able to find each other again after such a great loss. If there is a crisis now, I think "well we will survive that too". Finding the balance is really a challenge at times. I have my own company and in combination with 4 kids that is sometimes a lot. But the balance usually comes naturally because my children remain the most important thing. They always come first. Not that they are little princes, far from it. I educate them to be independent and to help others, roll up their sleeves and no velvet gloves. In that regard, I am truly an anti-curling parent."

Emeline's Wise Life Lesson on Motherhood: "Don't let these crazy times where children and their parents must meet such a high standard. I want to give the children 'la pura vida' by giving them love and trust. But also that life is sometimes not fun. Sadness is allowed and so is boredom; that makes you creative!"