What to do if your baby doesn't sleep well?

"One of the biggest struggles as a parent: babies who don't sleep well. Whether it's about not being able to fall asleep on their own, not sleeping through the night, or establishing a sleep routine. Fortunately, child sleep coach Susanne Willekes has the tips and tricks that you can use perfectly for this.

As the first certified child sleep coach in the Netherlands, Susanne Willekes has been guiding families for eight years. Whether it's babies, toddlers, or preschoolers with sleep problems, Susanne fortunately knows what to do. To share her knowledge with as many people as possible, she explains common sleep problems and provides practical tips in her bestsellers Sleep! How Babies Sleep from 0-12 Months and Sleep! for Toddlers and Preschoolers.

    'Babies often lack the ability to fall asleep on their own'

When is my baby ready for a sleep coach?

Susanne: "To start with, it's essential to emphasize that every child is unique. Sleep is truly a process that needs to develop in the first few months after birth. Babies are not physically, mentally, and neurologically ready to be coached in this way in the first months. This can only happen after five months. It's not uncommon for parents to face various struggles around sleep during this time. Babies often don't have the ability to fall asleep on their own, and they may struggle to complete a sleep cycle of at least three quarters of an hour during the day. They need your help as a parent for this. When I started my sleep coaching practice eight years ago, many people thought that hiring a sleep coach meant letting your child cry endlessly or expecting your baby to sleep perfectly after a few weeks. On the contrary. Not everything is controllable. Sleep needs to grow, and the biological clock, among other things, still needs to develop."

Why does my baby cry when I put him in his crib?

"In the past, it was thought: the baby has a clean diaper, has been fed, received a pat on the head - he has everything he needs and is ready to sleep." Babies who still cried loudly at that point would sometimes end up in the barn. Even today, there is still surprise when self-soothing to sleep doesn't work. Young babies also need a sense of security and can signal certain needs. It's not unusual for a newborn baby to cry when placed in a crib if they are not used to it and don't know how to fall asleep on their own. And there are also babies who have no trouble with it from day one."

When do babies sleep through the night?

"Good to know: waking up at night is a very normal phenomenon, reassuring for many parents. A baby sleeping through the night doesn't mean they experience no waking moments or make no noise. The same goes for adults. That moment between sleep and wakefulness is often when you turn over, pull your duvet back over you, and continue sleeping. You often don't even realize it. Good to know: a 4-month-old baby can average a stretch of around 5 hours without feeding, a 6-month-old baby should, in principle, be able to sleep eight to nine hours without needing feeding. By nine months, according to the National Sleep Foundation, a baby should really be able to sleep through, meaning 10-12 hours uninterrupted."

Can you spoil a crying baby?

"You can't spoil your baby by responding when they cry." For attachment and emotional development, it's important for parents to respond. You'll see that your baby cries less and for less time because you respond and meet their needs. It's only around nine months that they realize they can get you moving with their cries. This doesn't mean you can't condition your baby earlier. You can certainly do that. If, for example, at six months, you still feed your baby six times a night, they will get used to it. Remember that you can gradually reduce this, just like parents who get their child to sleep by walking or rocking. "That can be unlearned too."

How can I get my baby to sleep in their own bed?

"There are also babies who naturally have no trouble being put to bed and then falling asleep on their own. It's always good to see how your baby reacts to it. I also see parents who carry their babies in a carrier for days, while they could just as well fall asleep in their own bed. Somewhat wasteful because it can lead to babies needing to be carried to sleep at night or suddenly not wanting to sleep in bed during the day when they outgrow the carrier. But important: every parent makes their own choice in this. Does your baby have trouble falling asleep in their own bed? Practice until it gets better or temporarily help your young baby with their hours of sleep during the day if they can't do it on their own in bed, and they cry their lungs out. If it doesn't come naturally, you can practice and learn this more easily from six months onwards. The easiest time to start is in the evening. Daytime sleep is less natural. You often notice that babies may have more difficulty falling back asleep in the second part of the night. Not strange. In the second part of the night, they already have several hours of sleep, making them relatively awake, and the pressure to sleep is less."

Does a baby who sleeps poorly during the day sleep well at night?

"Also crucial to know: a well-rested baby sleeps better than a tired one. Fatigue makes sleep issues even bigger. So don't think: oh, my baby skipped a nap today, so they'll sleep extra well tonight. There's a good chance they'll sleep more restlessly. That's why it's so important to help and guide your baby as much as possible in establishing a good sleep routine. Additionally, it's good to know that a sleep cycle for children up to about two years is 45 minutes. Babies can learn to complete that cycle of three quarters of an hour on their own. Sometimes they may need your help in the beginning. So if your baby wakes up after 20 minutes, try to help them, for example, by rocking, to fall back asleep and complete that minimum of 45 minutes. This enhances the quality of sleep. This way, you teach your baby that they don't wake up when disturbed but only when they are rested."

           'Fatigue makes sleep issues even bigger'

How many naps does my baby need?

"If your baby sleeps for three-quarters of an hour, an hour to an hour and a half - two hours each time, three to four naps are often enough in the first five months." This also depends on the age. Around six months, babies typically need three naps. When your baby is 9 months old, they often quickly move to two naps. What many parents don't know is that once babies turn one, they're actually not ready for just one afternoon nap. You'll also notice the negative effects this has on the night. Often, a baby is only 15 to 18 months old when they transition to one afternoon nap."

Do babies who are formula-fed sleep through faster than breastfed babies?

"It's a myth that a bottle-fed baby sleeps through faster than a breastfed baby." There has been a lot of research on this, and science shows that both wake up equally often. It is true that breast milk is more easily digestible. It's also important

"For all babies, it is recommended to introduce solid food from six months onwards. The consultation office also advises this. Milk alone is no longer sufficient for a baby of that age. The natural iron reserve needs to be supplemented with solid food. Start with trial bites of vegetables and/or fruit. You can then expand with a piece of bread crust, some egg, a piece of avocado, oatmeal, or spelt porridge. Introduce (a teaspoon) 100% peanut butter and (hard-boiled) egg in time to prevent peanut and egg allergies. By introducing the right nutrients on time, suitable for motor and brain development, the chances are greater that you meet their development and needs, and you can rule out poor sleep due to hunger or iron deficiency. "And I'm not talking about stuffing with the thought that your baby will definitely sleep through: that can actually cause them to experience cramps."

What are the benefits of a sleep-feeding routine?

"What you and your baby as parents can benefit from is establishing a flexible sleep-feeding routine some time after birth. This can yield incredible results. Babies thrive on routine and predictability. They know what to expect, creating a sense of security that will lead to less crying and easier sleep. Another advantage of such a flexible routine is that you can get to know your child better. If he has just slept for 45 minutes and is crying, you know: this cry doesn't mean he's tired. What's going on? Is he hungry, overstimulated, or maybe bored? With a sleep-feeding routine, you know exactly when your child sleeps and eats, and you can better respond to specific needs. It gives you confidence as a parent and the feeling that you know your little one and know how to handle certain situations. Regardless of medical causes."

What if my baby suddenly doesn't sleep well?

"Have you just got everything nicely on track, and suddenly sleeping becomes a lot more difficult?" This is often temporary because your baby or child is going through a developmental leap. For example, they may be on the verge of crawling or pulling themselves up. Don't worry! "You'll notice soon enough when the leap is over, and your child resumes their sleep routine."

       'Because of a leap, your baby may suddenly sleep less well'

What if my baby prefers to sleep in our bed?

"Thanks to my coaching, I see and speak to many parents whose babies and children sleep in their bed." In itself, it's not a problem if your child needs that sense of security, and you're fine with it. Of course, it's essential to pay attention to safety in this case. Never let your baby sleep loose between you in bed, no duvets, pillows, or other loose elements in the bed. Only breastfed babies may sleep next to the mother on a firm mattress without the risk of falling out of bed or getting entangled underneath. The safest option is a co-sleeper attached to your bed. Handy for night feeding, so you don't have to get out of bed. Baby nests may look cute, but it's not recommended to let your baby sleep in them without supervision. For naps during the day in the playpen, it's fine, but not if you're sleeping at night and can't pay attention."

What if sleep is disrupted by weaning off the pacifier?

"It's wise not to wait too long to wean off pacifier use. Just to prevent lisping and promote speech development. Use it only for naps from around four months."

What medical reasons could there be for sleep problems?

"Reflux, hidden reflux, cow's milk allergy, eczema, a preference for a certain position? If you're unsure whether the cause of your child's sleep problems is related to these, it's always good to consult your doctor or, in the last case, an osteopath."