One of the biggest struggles as a parent: children who don't sleep well. Whether it's trouble falling asleep, not sleeping through the night, or establishing a sleep routine. Fortunately, child sleep coach Susanne Willekes has the tips and tricks that you can use perfectly in this regard.
As the first certified child sleep coach in the Netherlands, Susanne Willekes guides. Susanne Willekes For nearly eight years, Susanne Willekes has been assisting families, whether it's babies, toddlers, or preschoolers facing sleep issues. Fortunately, she has advice for all. To share her knowledge with as many people as possible, she outlines in her bestsellers. Slaap! Sleep! for Toddlers and Preschoolers. She addresses common sleep problems and provides practical tips.
How much sleep does my little one need?
" I always use a handy schedule for this.
- A child between 1 and 2 years old needs 11 hours at night and 2.5 hours during the day;
- A child between 2 and 3 years old needs 11 hours at night and 2 hours during the day.
- A 3-year-old child needs an hour and a half during the day and either 10.5 hours at night or 12 hours per night.
Without an afternoon nap; - "When your child is 4 years old, they sleep an average of 11.5 hours per night." How can I assist you further with this information?
What to do if my child skips their afternoon nap?
"On average, children between 2.5 and 3.5 years no longer nap in the afternoon. The transition from daytime napping to not napping at all can take months. It's important that, on days when your toddler doesn't nap, they go to bed earlier in the evening. Normally, if they nap for an hour and a half during the day, they might go to bed at 8 PM. However, on days without a nap, it's perfectly fine to put them to bed around 6:30 PM. That's not too early. You'll notice that if you wait until around 7:30 PM, they might be restless during the night. So, during this transition period when your child doesn't nap during the day, ensure they go to bed early."
"It's important that on the days when your toddler doesn't nap during the day, they go to bed earlier in the evening."
What if my child still needs a bottle to fall asleep?
“There are children who, even after turning 1, can't fall asleep without the help of their parents. This can be due to rocking, but also reliance on a bottle or breastfeeding. It becomes a habit, and with the bottle or breastfeeding, the child forms a sleep association. Breaking this sleep association can be done by simply giving the last feeding before bedtime outside the bedroom and discontinuing the night feedings (which the child no longer needs at that age) cold turkey. Interestingly, with these children, you often see an improvement in daytime eating as well, as they are less inclined to fill their bellies with milk."
What if my child keeps standing in their bed and refuses to sleep?
"If your child can stand, they can also sit and lie down on their own. So, don't go into their room all the time to put them back down. If you do, they'll come to expect it, and you'll be in a cycle. Encourage them to lie down but don't physically help them with it."
"Encourage your child to lie down, but don't physically help them with it."
What if my child keeps losing their teddy bear and pacifier, causing them to have trouble sleeping through the night?
"Teach your child, when you put them to bed at bedtime, to pick up their pacifier and teddy bear themselves. By instilling this habit as early as possible, they'll also search for them at night on their own, and you won't have to get out of bed for it."
What if my child keeps throwing their teddy bear and pacifier out of bed?
"If children continue to throw items, I recommend making it clear that they will only get the teddy bear or pacifier back when they lie down calmly. Once the child does that, you place the pacifier or teddy bear back on the mattress. Specify it's the 'last time' when returning the pacifier or teddy bear for the first time, and leave it there if the child throws them out again. If they persist, don't engage, no matter how loud they scream or shout. Once children realize their trick doesn't work, they usually stop doing it. It might feel tough initially, but the alternative is endlessly picking up pacifiers and teddy bears in the evenings and nights, leading to disrupted sleep."
What if my child keeps getting out of bed?
"For children aged 2.5 and older, I often involve them in coaching. Parents can do this by discussing beforehand what changes will occur in their sleep routine and attaching a positive reward system to it. For instance, consider using a sleep trainer that clearly indicates, through color or a picture, when it's time to get out of bed. This makes it clear for a toddler or preschooler when they are allowed to leave their bed. Keep in mind that it takes about three weeks for a toddler or preschooler to break ingrained habits. So, even if they're used to holding hands before bedtime or getting out of bed whenever they want, if you want to change these patterns, you need to be patient and consistent. That means not approving once if your child gets out of bed before the designated time. Consistency is key, and sleep coaching is clearly intertwined with parenting: setting clear rules and boundaries and sticking to them."
When is my toddler ready for a toddler bed?
"I don't recommend transitioning to a toddler bed at too young an age. Ideally, wait until 2.5 years and preferably closer to three years. The later, the better—unless your child is constantly climbing out of their crib and at risk of falling. With age, you can establish clearer agreements about when it's okay to get out of bed or call out during the night. If you transition too early, it can lead to a lot of trouble. At a younger age, children may not understand the expectations, and it's challenging to establish clear rules. They may take advantage of their newfound freedom."
"Never make the transition from a crib to a toddler bed too early."
How often do sleep problems occur in children?
"1 in 4 children under the age of five worldwide experiences some form of sleep problems. So, you're definitely not alone. Don't see addressing sleep issues as a luxury or a failure. It's not only beneficial for your child but also for you as parents and for the entire family. Good sleep is crucial for everyone's physical and mental health. Sleep is the foundation of your well-being. It's also not surprising that sleep deprivation is used as a torture method by Navy SEALs. I hear from parents and children that, thanks to my coaching, they not only sleep better but also eat better and feel much better overall. It brings so many positive outcomes for your child and the family on various levels."
