Every year on November 17 is the World Premaaturdagen. On this day attention is drawn to premature birth. When a child is born for 37 weeks of pregnancy, it is premature. This has a lot of impact on child and parents and unfortunately does not always end in a happy ending. Today Sharon (Operation Manager at Mamaloves) tells her personal story.
The birth of my daughter Indi came completely unexpected, because with 27 weeks and 2 days she was born in the VUmc in Amsterdam. She was here 63 days before she was transferred to a High Care department. In total she has been in the hospital for almost 4 months.
I would like to share my story with you from the perspective of a mother. I hope I can do that, because this is quite difficult. The feelings that you experience cannot actually be described with a pen.
A difficult start
The first face was terrible. I was only able to cry the first days. Such a sweet and strong little miracle that is in an incubator. You are a mother for the first time, a long -held dream has come true, but luckily you do not feel it at all. Questions that you ask when you see your child lying: Will she live? Does she not die? Is she healthy? Can't I leave her better so that she gets better? Is this the wonderful motherhood that everyone is talking about?
I remember that the nicu nurses said congratulations dad and dad you are now parents. You have gave birth to a beautiful child. Everything I could think was thanked for the congratulations, but motherhood felt so incredibly crue.
I had never heard here, these stories about motherhood. If I had known this I would never have longed for it, because at the birth of my daughter I only felt worried.
"I was only able to cry the first days"
A different world
As soon as you enter the Nicu you will enter another world. The Intensive Care is always dusk. Day and night are simulated and the silence, apart from the beeps of the monitors, predominates. It is a department where newborn babies fight for their lives, and you feel that. It is a place where you see the fear of parents in their eyes when they first enter the department. It is a place where some mothers blame themselves that they have not seen it coming. A place where time stands still.
Stay strong
For almost 4 months, her dad and I have been sitting at her bed for almost 12 hours a day. A huge amount of tears have flowed during this period.
If I wasn't with her, I was always in a hurry to be with her again as soon as possible. I always felt that my daughter was waiting for me when I wasn't there. I was always calm when I arrived the department and heard the beeps.
During this period I had a lot of support from friends and family. Friends and relatives of friends also reached us. This is close to my heart. I will never forget all this support.
And now
Now I have a two -year -old daughter. A real toddler. I still have sleepless nights, but of a different nature. She is a little cheerful girl who shows toddler's behavior, but she is so sweet, cheerful and spontaneous. She likes to go out, approaches everyone and is ready to discover the world. Fortunately my daughter is doing well now, I am grateful for this.
My love goes out to all mothers (in Spe) because the way to and motherhood in itself is a rollercoaster of emotions. I would like to say: share your emotions with your loved ones and always follow your heart.
"Motherhood is a rollercoaster"
